12th and 13th may 2010
If you could take an eraser and rub out an entire day, that is what I would do with my Wednesday. I had the most agonizing pain throughout my whole body and it made me cry because nothing seemed to help it. I was hoping my physiotherapy appointment might help me, I went into the room with Rhiannon and when I tried to stand, the pain was absolutely horrific and I just collapsed. Rhiannon was so caring and she decided to use the ultrasound and some massage to try and give me some relief. I find that the ultrasound seems to help me and by the end of my appointment even though I was still in dreadful pain I had received a small amount of relief.
A ray of sunshine in my day was when Tess called. When I am in Sydney for my testing I am going to be doing an interview with Amanda Keller and Brendan Jones on WS FM they are extremely interested in my story. Although many people in Canberra know about my book and what I am hoping to achieve, it has not achieved the same momentum interstate and through this interview that is what we are hoping to achieve. If I can let more people know about my story and how I want to inspire and help others then the end result will be more awareness about Brain Tumours as well as those much needed funds.
My day was also brightened by a telephone call from Gavin who always makes me smile and Manda who we saw for her Birthday, she is a very special friend to Mum and I. I also received some wonderful emails from people, they must have sensed that I was having such an atrocious day.
I went to bed feeling disheartened by the pain I had throughout the day and still had but when I thought about all the people who are thinking of me and encouraging me that gave me an immense amount of comfort as my weary eyes closed.
After yet another restless night which is now what I consider normal because I know nothing else at present, I found that my pain had eased which caused me to take a deep breath of relief. Today I was able to buy some thermal wear to try to help keep the warmth in my body in the hope of reducing all the pain I have been having, I so hope it works.
Then after lunch when the sun was high in the sky and shinning in all its glory Mum and I went to school to do one last walk over the Cross Country Course. My whole class and my PE teacher walked it also and there are some places that I have to go a different way because it is just not accessible for a wheelchair but I can tell you that as we went around I felt such an excitement fluttering around inside my body. Doing the Cross Country has been a goal I have aimed for since missing it last year. I think that I will be able to walk around five meters assisted by Mum across that finish line and that will be a golden moment for me. I will hold my head high with pride, this is something I have wanted to do for myself but I am also doing it for my School House Guraguma which means 'The Wind' by me competing then I am gaining points for my house, I think it is important to contribute as a team to your house. I will then look ahead to next year because I am setting myself the goal of actually jogging the whole course and I know with determination, perseverance and courage that is going to happen.
Later in the afternoon my pain returned with a vengeance, hot water bottles, pain killers and deep heat hopefully will alleviate it ready for my big day tomorrow. Even if the pain is severe it is not going to ruin my day, I will fight it and I am going to be the victor.
My brother has a tee-shirt that says nothing is impossible and I think this is another great mantra to say to yourself whenever you think something is just too difficult to achieve.
I will give you a full race report on my Blog tomorrow and I think this is an event that will go down in history for me and be the beginning of bigger and better things to come in the future!