3rd and 4th May 2010
I had to write this now before I am too exhausted to lift my little fingers across the keyboard. I have had a couple of huge days at school as well as an appointment with my paediatrician.
Monday I cheerfully went off to school clutching my laptop in my lap as we wheeled along the path. This was my first Monday at school for this Term and I was ready to work hard, our first subject was Integrated Studies and we are looking at debating. We looked at appropriate ways to present and contest points of view. The practise topic that we looked at was 'Homework is really important', I think that it is because it helps us to revise or finish work that we have done in class during our lesson time, it also helps you when you are in your later years of schooling and have to study for exams. I was able to use my laptop to type some points and it was so much easier than me trying to write it or Mum having to scribe it for me. I got a whole page typed but I did find my hands felt weak just like when I type my Blog.
I excitedly anticipated my next class which was PE, WOW! it would be the first time I had done it since March last year. We were doing Cross Country practise and that was one of my favourite sporting activities before my brain tumour took over my life. My friends Yana and Chloe helped Mum to push me around the course and they found that it is not easy to control a wheelchair, they seem to have a mind of their own, in fact I would say they are worse than shopping trolley's! The course was fairly bumpy and difficult but that is what Cross Country courses can be like and I love a challenge. I was so thrilled to be part of the PE class with our teacher Mr Prowse and my friends who by the way did an excellent job for their first attempt at pushing me over the course in my wheelchair. I can hardly wait now until next Friday 14th when it is Cross Country Day at school. Not only am I getting to participate and hope to walk at least ten metres, with assistance across that finish line, I will also get to see Nalani and Jarrett run in their races. I think Jarrett is hoping to break the school record again this year and I believe he can do it and Nalani is hoping for a top three placing so she can then go to districts again, even though she is coming back from that calf sprain I also believe in her.
We returned to class after PE to do some more work about debating, I was sitting and I suddenly felt really nauseous and had a throbbing headache that ripped through the right side of my head. Luckily it was time to leave to go home at recess and when we came home I took panadol and slept. The headache remained for the rest of the day but the intensity of it improved so when I went to bed it felt like it was in the distance.
I had an appointment with my paediatrician late that afternoon and he talked to me about my book and said that every family going through any cancer treatment should read it as a resource. He said that I am an extremely inspiring young lady and that what I was doing was wonderful because it was so selfless. He checked my height and weight and I have not gained nor lost weight but my height was a little shorter. I have had further deterioration of my right side, flickering of my eyes, he feels muscle damage from the Vincristine and Sydney told me that last time and said it would be permanent, he looked behind my eyes and could see a mass but it was not a large one like when I was first diagnosed. He said the MRI in June will tell us what is going on and if there are any new changes. I have to see him again on 12th July, he said everything is all slow progress when you have what I do and that I will have good and bad days. When we told him about my headaches he thought that it could be from concentration or tiredness, or tumour growth but once again reinforced that the MRI will reveal more.
I had a dreadful night sleep waking regularly with knee and ankle pain as well as bladder issues but this is something else I have become used to, waking every night. So I slept in for a bit this morning knowing that I did not have to go to school until after recess today. I would not normally go two days in a row but because there was a presentation to help us with our debate the teacher thought it was valuable for me to be there. My headache has gone today but my eyes feel really heavy and tired. I put together my Australian Studies assignment this morning and played Upwords and then we headed off to school. The presentation was interesting because we heard different points of view about 'Who Built our School' the team I am going to be on has to argue that the parents did, others have to say that the teachers and students did, another group say the Church did and the last group say that the Government money and builders did. Luckily Mum was there to take notes, she took three pages of notes for me so I will be able to use them to help me in my group.
Wonderful news - I received fifteen more boxes of my books today and then that is all. Many people have told me that it is now in bookstores and I am looking forward to going into one and actually seeing it, I think that will be a photograph moment. I hope all my books sell out, so please buy one and help the Brain Tumour Fund, many people together can make a difference.
I have had some touching and inspiring comments from strangers who have bought my book and I feel so honoured that they have read my book and it touched their hearts and lives. I also received a beautiful card from Anna and I wanted to share the verse with you. It has butterflies on it and it says 'Happiness is a butterfly which when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but if you sit down quietly, it will gently sit with you'.