24th to 26th October 2010
Having to be without Mum was absolutely devastating, I felt like I was been punished but for what crime I do not know. I hugged Theodore as tightly as I could and he gave me a little comfort in this cruel situation that has left me feeling so confused and hurt.
When Mum arrived on Sunday at 9.30am we both hugged each other in the tighest hug you could ever imagine. When Mum is with me I feel secure and safe when she is not there I am so scared of what may happen to me. I have felt like a prisioner, treated like I have committed a crime but it is not me who is in the wrong, I have done everything possible in my journey to do the right thing, listening to the doctors, being brave and taking each painful procedure in my stride.
I was told to walk which I am able to do a little of, but I was given no support and I do not have my rollator here so I was extremely off balanced and wobbled, my right ankle has been re-injured and is swollen and painful. The fact that I have had a Brain Tumour has not been considered, I am not an ordinary twelve year old, I have been left with side effects from my tumour and the treatment, this is something I can not help. It did happen and I can not change that so I am so confused as to why now it is not cared about.
Please if you are having chemotherapy and lose more than ten per cent of your body weight request that your doctor do something about it, don't just accept that you will pick up later. Also when you finish all your treatment ask that you are given a dietary plan, I ate well but it was not enough apparently and now I find myself in this dispicable situation. I want to help others so that they won't have to go through this.
Dad arrived on Monday together he and Mum can work as a united front to sort this all out. My paediatrician at home was looking after this, what has happened is not right. Why am a pawn in the middle of this and being categorised without a proper assessment, I am confused and scared.
My ankle is so sore and swollen, I have to go to have an xray, perhaps some serious damage has been done to it. Another hurdle and just when it was going so well, this whole experience has been such a horrendous storm but I still hold the hope and remain positive that my rainbow will appear very soon and my life can bring me some happiness.
Life is too precious to waste, there are so many things I wish to do and this is wasting my time, that I can not go back and retrieve. Thank you for all your support, comments and prayers I hope that I can update you with some positive news soon.