21st and 22nd July 2010
Whilst the sun is shinning it brightens my days even when I have suffered miserably with pain that just sweeps through my entire being. Wednesday the sun shone brilliantly and brightly in the crystal clear blue sky it really was as pretty as a picture. Even though I had regrettably experienced another dreadful night sleep and I felt as flat as a pancake I knew I had school again, I just had to pull myself together, hold my head high and march onwards. After having the roll marked it was time to head off to our first elective, which for me was French. A strange memory came back to me, that was that on the day I had gone to see my paediatrician way back on 24th March 2009, I had been in my French elective, little did I know that day that my life would be changed forever. In French we were told what we would be learning throughout the Semester. This Term we are focusing on words related to French Cuisine, because later in the Term as part of our assessment we are going to pretend that our classroom is a French Restaurant and each of us will take turns at being a customer, waiter or waitress and a Chef. We have to speak in French dialogue whilst we are pretending. It is very exciting but it is a little difficult for me to remember words, my short term memory has been affected by my tumour, so I have set a goal for myself and that is to practise some French Cuisine words everyday and hopefully that will help, I should be able to remember at least a couple that way. French is also a little difficult as you say things in a different way for different genders. After French, I had Textiles, once again we were told what we would be doing over the Semester, to start off the teacher had made up calico bags and we had to write our name and do a design on the front with special pencils called ink pencils. Mum helped me write my name in fancy writing and then I used a paint brush with water and put it on the tip of an ink pencil and then I could brush on my design. I did a pansy because that is the type of flowers I have put into my pot feature in my fairy garden. I used red and a blue and it looked real, I was so proud of it. I did not get to finish it because we had to leave to take Nalani to the Sport Physician to hear her results from her MRI.
Parking was a nightmare but finally Mum found a spot along the side of the road, we waited and waited the doctor was running half and hour late and then finally Nalani was called in. We saw on the computer screen images from her MRI and the doctor told Mum that the news was not good. Poor Mum and Nalani, they both looked so worried when she said that, unfortunately it was not a torn meniscus or patellar tendonopathy instead the MRI showed that she has a lateral patellar tilt with a full thickness fissuring of the articular cartilage with some subchondral oedema present. Basically what it means is that her knee cap is not sitting where it should and it has caused major unrepairable damage to the cartilage underneath the knee cap. Nalani was told that she had to have a CT Scan to see where the knee cap sits in different positions and also was referred to a surgeon who the Sport Physician is unsure whether he will be able to do anything to help her. Another effect of her diagnosis is that she is likely to suffer from severe arthritis as a very young age.
We have just had so many terrible things happen in our lives, I think that sometimes it is unfair and then I remember that there are people out there that are far worse off than we are and I should not be complaining. Call me superstitious but I am still of the belief that one of us did break a mirror and we are sure getting that seven years of bad luck.
When we came home from Nalani's appointment I felt absolutely drained, school, driving to Deakin and back as well as Nalani's results had made me fell so terribly ill, I was dry retching and felt so dizzy it frightened me. I rested with a bucket by my side and a bottle of water which I sipped on and eventually later in the afternoon I felt a little better.
I did my Mathletics homework and answered some emails and at night I watched MasterChef which is so close to the Grand Final. I am so glad that Adam is still in, I really think that he is a good example of someone who really wants to cook. I was so impressed when he was asked why he wanted to win and he said it was not for himself but for his family and the memories he has of his family when he cooks.
My hip, shoulder and knee were all clicking in bed at night and I had difficultly turning. Of course I had my pain that continues to rule my life at the present time and I feel so helpless because of it.
I did not have school today, so I was able to lie in bed a little longer, I was not sleeping but I could rest my weary, pain riddled body rather than rushing around and having to go out in the crisp, cold morning air.
Once I was up and about I worked on a title page for my French book and trimmed and cut some worksheets from yesterday, carefully sticking them in. We have a French Dictionary for Beginners at home and I decided to start on my goal and read through some of the words in it. I really love the dictionary because it has pictures in it as well as the English word alongside the French word. I think the visuals will assist me to remember the words more accurately and successfully.
Just doing this made me fatigued, but the sun was shinning through the family room door and it warmed my body and heart. How wonderful to be able to see the sunlight and be warmed by its gentle rays, to experience this, I feel so fortunate.
I played Upwords with Mum and then made some yo yo biscuits, I wanted to cheer Nalani up after her results yesterday. We had to take Nalani to her appointment to have her CT Scan, it is so funny in a way, she had never had many tests before and I have had so many, now in just a short amount of time she has had an MRI and CT Scan, now we have something in common to talk about! She will get the results from the CT Scan tomorrow and then next Thursday she has the appointment with the Surgeon, then we will know what can be done for her.
We rushed home from the CT Scan to pick Jarrett up to go to running training, again I began to feel ill, I think I just can't cope with racing around to so many places all in a row. Jarrett ran extremely well at training and is all ready for his 5km point score race on Saturday, the best news is that the weather is going to be absolutely perfect, sunny and fourteen degrees, that is so much better when you are a spectator.
Tass brought over the canvases for me to paint for the new Ronald McDonald House that is being built in Canberra. So this will keep me very busy over the next few months, I really want it to be extraordinarily special.
There is a fun run and walk 5km or 10km on 6th November it is called Train for the Brain and it has two primary goals; one is to raise awareness in the Community about brain tumours and the second is to raise funds for Cure for Life Foundation. There is a website that you can look at to find out more information and that is www.trainforthebrain.yolasite.com . I think I have mentioned this run before, when I went to the Brain Tumour Alliance Meeting I heard about it and Sarah, the inspirational lady I met said she would like to push me in it. I hope that many people will come on the day to support it. Although it is not the charity I am raising funds for, mine is the Sydney Children's Hospital Foundation Brain Tumour Fund, I support it fully as they are trying to raise awareness like I am.
'The most magical moments in our lives come from reaching out our hearts and hands to one another'