13th and 14th June 2010
With the thick, white, glacial frost covering the lawn and freezing the water in the bird bath I needed to wrap myself up snugly for running training, I think I ended up with five layers. Whilst Jarrett went for his long run up Black Mountain we went for our usual walk around the AIS. The suns rays shone and made the frost covered grass glisten like diamonds as the warmth melted the icy frost, it also warmed my tortured bones but they still throbbed with pain. The waves frolicking along Coogee Beach had given me a peaceful feeling but taking in the sensational bush views in Canberra also give you that feeling of freedom, peace and tranquility.
After running training we returned home and I found the most wonderful spot in the house to sit, in the family room with the sun streaming through the glass sliding doors, it was here that I sat and painted my canvases. I could not paint with my right hand, I had it sitting on a hot water bottle to try to warm it, I could not hold anything in it or bend my fingers without having bolting shots of pain run from my hand up my arm so I used my left hand instead and I have become reasonably expert using it. Each painting I create is unique and original so using my left hand makes it even more special. After using my left hand to paint however I found that it was also causing me some problems, this is because of my peripheral neuropathy and it can occur on both sides but my right side is more damaged by it.
Whenever I am feeling a little down and defeated I do activities that I enjoy or can be distracted by, so I played Upwords. I began to feel extremely fatigued and think this is because of the pain and also after my huge week in Sydney, so I rested, letting my body relax and my eyes closed as I drifted off into a light slumber. Rest helps the body to recover and I awoke feeling refreshed and revitalised.
Close to dinner time my pain returned at an agonising level and I actually cried because I just could not cope with it no matter what Mum tried to alleviate it. Then I pulled myself together, took a deep, long breath and chastised myself for letting it get the better of me. After dinner I watched MasterChef, I felt so sorry for Callum when he broke down because his Chicko Roll interpretation did not work out. The pressure seemed to have got the better of him and I willed him to be strong. It is not always easy to be strong it is something you have to really work on but with strength comes courage and optimism.
Lying in my warm bed I felt comforted even though I was still suffering and I prayed for all the people who were in pain at this time and I said a very special prayer for Bill, I am sending him my rainbow to touch his heart and give him hope.
I experienced yet another restless night sleep with pain and joints locking but I still try to always wake smiling because a smile gives you sunshine in your heart for the rest of the day. I found my lovely, warm, sunny position in the family room again this morning and played Upwords again to warm my brain up for the day ahead.
It was another freezing morning, minus five degrees with a thick, white frost covering the ground, when the day warmed up a little we went to the shops, where I finally had my ears pierced. It has been what seems like forever but it finally could happen today. I chose sterling silver, pink (which I am sure you would have all guessed) earrings. The girl was so lovely and gentle and I did not feel a thing, it was all over in no time. So I now proudly have my ears done which I had saved my Birthday money from February to pay for it. I have to keep them in for six weeks, using an antiseptic spray regularly and also turning them often throughout the day. I love how they look and I really appreciate being able to have them done. I think when you have been through what I have, you do tend to appreciate all the wonderful little opportunities that life offers you, things that other people just expect or take for granted.
Ouch! My hand is pounding with pain, I have tried to type this using my right hand a little but I just can't do it, typing one handed will have to do for now. I have heard about people who have no arms at all and they don't sit back and say "I can't" they use their feet to be their hands. I draw inspiration from the fact that there are people who are less fortunate than I am and I should never feel sorry for myself.
I watched 101 Dalmatians today, the old Disney movies have some marvellous characters in them. I have physiotherapy tomorrow and then will return to school on Wednesday which I am excited about as I have art, I have only had one lesson of it all Term due to camp and NAPLAN. Anyway, as my right eye is flickering away and I have the beginnings of a headache, I think I am becoming quite fatigued again, probably from the pain I will have to rest.
Please remember to pray for Bill and his family this week, I am hoping for a miracle for them and the power of many prayers may do this.