MISSING HOME

31st October and 1st November 2010

At night when I am lying in my hospital bed holding Theodore tightly for comfort, I shed silent tears, I am missing home so dreadfully and not having Mum close, even though she is in Sydney, we are not in the same place at night.  My nightmares that I used to have about been behind the door and calling to Mum and her not hearing me have started again.  I am scared, at least when I have been through all the other difficult times throughout my journey, Mum has been so close. 

My weekend was as good as it could be considering I was stuck in hospital, Mum was able to be there apart from at night, which made the sun shine within me.  We had dinner together on both Saturday and Sunday night, almost like home except the rest of the family were missing.  We were able to go for a walk around the hospital grounds, my eyes hurt at first because I had not seen the light or experienced the freshness of the outside air for over a week. 

I still have the nasal gastric tube and it is beginning to become irritating, it is itchy and it actually hurts near the corner of my nose where it is inserted, the nurses told me that people often get ulcers from them and that is what they suspect will happen to me, so once it is out, I will be given some cream for it.  The doctor told me yesterday that it would be coming out soon but would not give me a definite day.

Hopefully today I will have my MRI on my right foot, it still not been done and my foot is extremely painful, I try to relieve it with deep heat and Mum rubbing it when she can.  I attempted to put some weight on it yesterday and nearly flew through the roof, I wish I knew what was wrong with it so I could start some rehabilitation for it.

This morning I had my blood taken again, you should see my arms, they have holes everywhere from all the blood tests and are very bruised, talk about been a pin cushion.  An ECG is supposed to be done today, the other ones were fine, they just wanted to check one last time to make sure there is no problems with my heart.  My pulse rate and blood pressure have all been great although my blood pressure is as always was on the low side.

Mum called me this morning before I went to school, I was so pleased to hear her voice, I will not see her until later this afternoon unless she is called in for any of my appointments.  They should of let her go with me for my bone density on Friday because there were questions about the family history that I could not answer, so Mum had to let the doctor know and then it had to be passed on because it was important. 

School is not like at home, I miss my Teacher and my friends at school, also because this is New South Wales the work is very different to what we do back home at school.  Not only last year did I miss school, I have missed quite a bit this year due to my follow ups every three months and now this. 

Someone said it is overcast outside today and quite cool, I would not know being stuck in here but hope the sun will shine very soon and I will be back home and able to enjoy my life again.